Being a parent is not easy, and at times it gets especially challenging to keep your rage in check when your forgetful kids FORGET things again.

To be fair to our children, it really isn’t the child’s fault for not completing their homework because they simply FORGOT about it. However, it is still a tough issue where many parents struggle to tackle because obviously, reminding a million times isn’t going to help the situation.

A notable way of handling this issue as a parent, is to understand how our children’s minds work – how their brains are wired to operate definitely affects our kids’ memories, and how well they actually do remember.

Check out this article now for the researches done on forgetfulness in kids and why are parents playing important roles on helping their forgetful kids work on their memories power.

Via The Conversation: Parents, stop nagging kids not to forget – set visual cues instead

Every day, we have to remember intentions to perform specific tasks in the future. We may need to remember to buy milk on the way home from work, to return a book to the library next week, or take a certain pill at 8am every day. Psychologists call this “prospective memory”.

This form of memory is notoriously fallible, accounting for 50-80% of our everyday memory problems. To compensate, we often set ourselves reminders in the form of lists or alarms.

Young children can be very forgetful. And no matter how hard we try to get kids to realise they’re going to forget, rarely will they compensate for their memory errors on their own. They may need reminding to make their bed before leaving the house, for instance, or to complete their maths homework before class.

Children develop the ability to compensate for memory failures only gradually as they get older. And it’s not until the late primary school years that they begin to set visual cues as reminders in a strategic way, when they anticipate they are most likely to forget.

In our recent study, children between the age of seven and 13 played a computer game where they needed to remember to perform either one or three future actions. Then, we gave them the option to set themselves reminders if they wanted to.

When we asked children how they thought they would do in the game, kids of all ages recognised that their performance would be worse when there were more future actions to remember. This is not surprising, as previous research has shown that even children as young as three know longer lists of items are harder to remember than shorter ones.

What was surprising, however, was the fact that only the older children – around age nine and above – set themselves more reminders when they knew their memory would fail them.

One implication is that if you ask young children to do several things, they may struggle to know which things need a reminder and which ones they will remember by themselves.

These results are in line with other research showing that children only begin to compensate for their expected memory failures by around age nine or ten. Although children around six or seven years of age can distinguish between easy and hard items to learn for a memory test, only by around age nine or ten do they actually begin to study hard items more than easy items.

There appears to be a fundamental disconnect between what young children know about their cognitive limitations, and what they actually do to lessen the impact of these limitations.

Together, these results suggest that simply making younger children aware of their likely memory failures – by warning them that they might forget to bring home a note from school, for instance – is unlikely to make any difference to their memory performance. Even younger children are likely to be well aware of their potential memory failures already.

So instead of nagging younger kids “not to forget”, and trusting the power of the child’s developing memory alone, try to help them “offload” as much of the work as possible.

One way to do this is to create various external reminders that enable memories to be triggered when they are most needed. Placing a timetable of their weekly household chores on their bedroom door, for instance, alleviates their need to remember these actions by themselves.

Once a child is expected to pack his or her own school bag, placing important items in conspicuous locations (such as library books next to the front door) can activate the intention to bring them along.

Recently, psychologists have turned their attention to the various productive ways children and adults can use the external environment like this to “offload” cognitive work, and help bolster performance. Making lists, creating timetables, and placing to-be-remembered items in eye-line are just some examples.

Young children, who are forgetful at the best of times, may be among the most likely to benefit from these offloading strategies if we can help them learn how to use them.

Mummy’s note:

Show them that you stand confidently in your values and opinions, even if they could be considered unpopular. When you’re assertive, your children are more likely to be assertive as well. This also means when you tell your child “no” you need to stick to it.

Via Raising Digital Natives: Empowering Your Kids to Stand Up for Themselves (and Others)

“Someone posted something really mean about another kid in our group chat.”

Has your child ever said this to you? If she has, two things:

  1. High-five! This is what great parents are made of – your kid trusts you and can open up to you about this stuff.
  2. You probably stopped whatever it was you were doing, put your phone down, closed your laptop, and looked your child in the face to start a conversation.

Before we get into how to set your kids up for success in navigating these situations, here are some questions to ask your child:

  • What did you see?
  • How did this make you feel?
  • How did it make others feel?
  • What did you do next?
  • Would you do anything differently?

Ask these questions from a place of curiosity. You’re not being accusatory here. Just listen to them.

Once you understand what your child heard or saw, your next step is to empower her to speak up next time, and every time. Let her know in a positive way that she has control over her reaction and permission to say something whenever something isn’t right. Let her know that even though standing up for herself or others and speaking up might feel uncomfortable, you believe that standing up for yourself and others is always the best choice.

“Upstanders” Need a Good Role Model – You!

Mentorship is critical in issue of digital citizenship. Your kids are watching what you say and do. Treat this as an opportunity to “ambiently” instill your values in them. In other words, be an upstander yourself!

Show them that you stand confidently in your values and opinions, even if they could be considered unpopular. When you’re assertive, your children are more likely to be assertive as well. This also means when you tell your child “no” you need to stick to it.

Here are some responses you can share with your children, depending on their age and maturity level, to respond to inappropriate and unkind behavior.

Preschool to primary grades

We can teach our younger children about boundary setting and speaking up early on. At this age, it’s completely acceptable that adult authority is huge, so having them put the focus on how you will react can help get them in the habit of saying something as they get more comfortable feeling empowered.

Here are some responses for preschoolers and primary gradeschoolers:

  • If you keep doing that, my mom won’t let me play with you anymore
  • We’re not supposed to be doing that / looking at that / saying things like that
  • That’s inappropriate
  • We’re both going to get sent to the Principal’s office if you keep doing that
  • That’s not safe; I’m getting our teacher/my mom / my dad / my caretaker
  • Let’s do something else/or “I’m going to do something else” and then walk away

5th-7th grade

In 5th grade and middle school, your children could be exposed to games and images that are inappropriate on laptops, tablets, and phones. They may need help setting boundaries with friends, so it’s still perfectly acceptable for a middle schooler to cite their parents as a reason to avoid certain websites, language or behavior. You can have your kids point their finger at you as they get used to standing in their own convictions and feeling safe in their values. At this age, they can also start to stand up for their time and integrity.

Arm your preteen with these statements to help prepare them to stand on their own:

  • If you keep watching stuff like that, my parents won’t let me invite you over
  • Let’s find something better to watch/do
  • Please don’t text me after 9 pm or I’ll get in trouble
  • I have to set my status to do not disturb while I’m doing my homework, so you won’t see me in the group text/game/on Snapchat, etc.
  • I heard about this new game [game you both agree is appropriate], let’s play that instead
  • [Friend’s name] would be hurt if they heard you say that
  • Dude, that’s not even funny

8th grade and beyond

At this age, kids have more control over their environment and may have a fair amount of peer time with no adults around. They’ll need to set their own boundaries physical and digital boundaries and know that they can just leave if they get too uncomfortable or the situation becomes too inappropriate.

At an age where kids feel constant pressure to fit in, you can help them feel confident in setting up their boundaries.

  • When you send me 20 texts in a row, I don’t respond any quicker
  • Hey, that’s just gross, don’t show me that stuff anymore
  • I’m saving myself for actual sex, so no I don’t want to watch porn with you
  • I’m taking a break from that app. Not my thing.
  • I don’t want to share a picture like that – I’d prefer to be known for my fabulous (writing/soccer playing/joke-telling/debate skill) self

For kids who are dating, frequency of digital connection is likely something they will need to negotiate and agree on. Otherwise, expectations can be very uneven. This is a path towards hurt feelings.

Setting Boundaries: Kids Sometimes Think It’s “Being Mean”

Let your kids know it’s OK and even necessary to set boundaries. When we show our children that it’s OK to have boundaries, we’re giving them the tools they need to help build their confidence in standing up for what and who they believe in. This should extend from real-world interactions into online relationships, in social media, and in online games, too. Sometimes our kids should stand up, and sometimes it’s OK just to get out.

Our children also need to know that if a conversation on social media, chat, or texting thread has veered into harassment or hateful speech, finding a way out of the conversation is imperative. They won’t want to be associated with the discussion if it becomes more public – for instance, as part of a disciplinary or legal process.

Sticking up for a friend or a teacher in your own social circle makes sense. Taking on a public mob for their racist or homophobic comments in a digital setting may not make sense – there are often better ways to contribute to the conversation.

What Works for You and Your Family?

What kinds of conversations have you had with your kids? Do you have any other scripts your kids use that have worked well? Let everyone hear it in the comments below – or here in my Community Discussion Group for Parents on Facebook.

Via Los Angeles Times: 5 Tips for Teaching Kids to Embrace Risk Taking

Every child learns best when they have the courage to explore, to ask, “what if…?” and to take small risks. By creating and testing their ideas without fear, by constantly remaking and remodeling, they are paving the way for a breakthrough moment. It is important for parents and teachers to embrace this discovery and uncertainty both in the classroom and at home to develop a child’s confidence and ability to persevere.

These five tips will help you support the children in your life and encourage them to explore, try new things and follow their curiosity.

1) Try and try again.

Serve as a role model and be willing to take risks and make mistakes yourself. Show children that it is okay to try something and then switch directions if it doesn’t work. Embrace and teach iteration from the engineering design process, as kids are encouraged to try several things and keep working and reworking toward the best possible solution.

2) Design. Test. Modify.

Presenting kids with open-ended problems is a great way to encourage risk taking. Rather than having them work toward something with one, concrete answer, encourage them to “Design, test and modify and keep working to find the best solution, not just the first solution,” says Jennifer Nash of LEGO Education, an organization that has decades of experience providing students with playful, hands-on learning experiences that foster the “Design. Test. Modify.” mentality.

3) Facilitate, don’t demonstrate.

When you do something and tell kids to mirror your actions, you are teaching nothing but repetition. Instead, give them the tools they need to solve the problem, but let them go through a trial-and-error process on their own to reach the solution.

4) Embrace the journey, not the destination.


Encourage kids to talk about how they got to a solution, not just what they created. What did they try that worked, and what did not? What did they learn throughout the process? By framing each step as a learning opportunity, it removes the pressure of reaching one final, correct answer and will make them more likely to take smart risks in the future.

5) Take time to reflect.

Failure can be disheartening, especially for a young child. Rather than dwelling on the negative, make sure you are encouraging kids to take time to reflect when things do not go as planned. When kids look at failures as learning opportunities, they will not be afraid to take risks to achieve success.