Via What To Expect: 7 Single Moms’ Secrets to Successful Parenting

When it comes to parenting advice, just about everyone — your mom, aunt, best friend, neighbor — seems to have something to share (whether you asked for it or not!). But when you’re raising children on your own, some things — well, a lot of things — you deal with every day are unique to single moms. That’s why we turned to single mothers from the What to Expect community to get their secrets for successful parenting. Here are seven beautiful, wonderful and, most important, helpful tips they shared.

1. Focus on Being a Mom — Not a Single Mom

“I am a mom first. The adjective ‘single’ comes later and only describes my marital status and not how I am as a mom. So many people put the focus on the adjective and not the noun. The stigma of being a single mom is outdated and does not do justice to the many incredible, hardworking, loving and supporting moms that just happen to not be married. So my secret is to put your primary focus on the word ‘mom.'”

— Wishesdocometrue2015

2. Just Say Yes (Really!)

“I take all the help I can get from friends and family.”

— Poppylove1101

3. Remember, It Takes a Village

“I had six kids when my husband died unexpectedly. I had five sons and one daughter. I knew I could teach my daughter how to be a young woman, but I could not show my sons how to become a responsible man. Also my youngest ones would never see a marriage in action to use as a blueprint if they ever decided to marry. What I did was to become friends with a few moms with wonderful husbands. I asked if they would help me. Then I began to invite the whole family over for a cookout or dinner. The guys and dads would play baseball or basketball, while the girls and moms did something else. People were glad to help. Dads began to invite my boys canoeing or take them to sporting events. We would trade boys back and forth for sleepovers. We made some lifelong friends that became like family. One of the dads even gave my daughter away on her wedding day on behalf of her dad. People can be so caring. It is amazing!”

— Marshmallow2018

4. Stay Organized

“You just get up, get dressed and do it. And a Google calendar helps immensely!”

— towns1902

5. Keep Your Eyes on the Prize

“Honestly, a big thing for me after having my daughter was having a vision and working toward a goal. That helped me keep my sanity. I have plans for my life, finances and living situation that I wrote down and am working on. It keeps me motivated and reminds me to keep going. I also just do what I can when I can. Although I have aunts and cousins around, everyone seems to have a lot on their plate so I end up asking for help only when I absolutely need it. I’m learning as I go. Every day and every phase is new. If I have a bad day or week, I pick myself back up and keep going.”

— chesica2

6. Two Words: Maintain Perspective

“Just smile. You made a little human that loves you. As long as he is healthy, don’t think about anything else.”

— Poppylove1101

7. Give Yourself a Break and a Pat on the Back (and a Glass of Wine Now and Then)

“When the rare moment happens that I get a few moments to myself, I read or have a glass of wine (if the budget allows). I’m happy that I have my daughter and she will always know how much I love her, but I truthfully didn’t know how hard it would be to parent alone without a support system. I wouldn’t change my life now (okay maybe parts), but I also wouldn’t wish this on anyone. This isn’t what I thought it would be like. However, I also never anticipated being a single mom with a special needs child. I’ve learned a whole new level of appreciation for single moms and of good red wines!!!”

— bakingbaby1