4Apr2018
Kids Development, Kids' Humor
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April 4, 2018

The sense of humor is said to be one of the most important qualities in human being for the many benefits that it brings to one. With a good sense of humor, one can live healthier both physically and emotionally due to his or her optimistic attitude. It is also extremely helpful when it comes to networking and reinforcing relationships with the people around us.

You might think that the sense of humor is only important to the adults, but surprisingly, it is equally as important to your kids! Instilling kids’ humor early on in life will help them to take up challenges in life much easier as they grow up.

Kids’ humor can be observed in children as young as babies. If you are keen to explore on how to develop a sense of humor in your kids, check out the following article to find out how your kids can develop their sense of humor.

Via The Conversation | How children develop a sense of humour

Try a pun or some sarcasm on a toddler and you’re likely to draw a blank stare. Babies can be even harder to impress – ignoring your best clown impressions while laughing at some completely random event. Of course, children aren’t completely humorless. But what do they find funny at different ages and when can we expect them to get things like sarcasm and irony?

My two-year-old son has recently started grabbing my nose and pretending to throw it in the kitchen bin while laughing hysterically. It may not be a joke that I’m likely to try at my next dinner party, but it shows that his sense of humour is developing.

The main element needed for humour to evolve in children is socialisation. Children must understand that they are sharing an experience with another person before they can begin to establish a sense of humour. We typically do this by laughing and sharing reactions together – a process that effectively starts as soon as a newborn can engage in eye contact and smiling. The psychologist Lev Vygotsky believed that humorous social interactions of this type actually facilitates a child’s cognitive development.

However, a child needs to posses a few basic cognitive skills to communicate jokes in the first place (beyond just pulling a funny face). The most important ones are imagination, the ability to take a different perspective and language. Because these abilities tend to develop at different rates in different children – and continue to grow and change throughout adolescence and adulthood – there is no firm theory that can pinpoint specific, age-related stages of humor development.

Language

Almost all types of humor involve a realization of incongruity between a concept and a situation. In other words, we laugh when things surprise us because they seem out of place. Take for example the following joke: “A horse walks into a bar and the barman says ‘why the long face’”? This is partly funny because horses don’t normally walk into bars. But the punchline “why the long face” is amusing because we first don’t get why the horse would be sad. We then suddenly realize that there are two meanings of the expression – horses also literally have long faces.

It may therefore seem that language is a prerequisite for humour. Infants without language and younger children with limited language typically enjoy physical humour, such as a game of peek-a-boo. But such simple jokes, involving less cognitive skills than language-based jokes, are also about incongruity realisation. Peek-a-boo has an element of surprise – someone suddenly appearing out of nowhere.

Indeed, many researchers argue that it is communication that is key – and that humour actually facilitates the process of learning a language.

Imagination

Imagination plays a big part in spotting incongruity. It helps children place themselves somewhere different, to enact social roles that they normally wouldn’t, and even to pretend that their nose has come off of the body.

Imagination begins to appear in children around 12-18 months. Interestingly, this corresponds with the time when children are starting to copy parent’s jokes – making them more active in the production of their own brand of humor. Indeed, children as young as seven months can deliberately repeat any behaviors that elicit laughs, such as a funny face or a game of peek-a-boo.

A developing imagination is important for a child to eventually be able to produce their own jokes. This starts to happens by around two years of age, with jokes often being object-based, such as placing underwear on the head, or conceptual, such as claiming the “pig says moo”.


When making up their own jokes, children often draw inspiration from whatever they are learning about. Importantly, this helps them process social rules. For example, my son often jokes that his friend Lilly “pooped on the floor”. This is because potty training and excrement is at the forefront of his life right now. Joking about it is a good way to learn about the social rituals and emotions that go along with this process – particularly in dealing with accidents.

Perspective and deception

Another cognitive skill that helps children develop humor is an understanding of how the mind works. Knowing that different people can have access to different knowledge or mental states – and that some can have false beliefs or be deceived – is important. For example, when parents pretend to be oblivious to a child sneaking up to scare them, this is actually an example of a child understanding deception.

Indeed, some research has shown that this knowledge is crucial for children to understand more complicated jokes involving sarcasm and irony. One study showed that some children as young as three (but typically around five) are able to understand some forms of irony. In the experiment, children watched a puppet show and were asked questions about what they saw. An example of irony was when one puppet broke a plate and the other commented, “your mum will be very happy”. Some children could laugh and understand that this wasn’t literal and that the mum would in fact not be happy at all.

Other research argues that the understanding of irony develops through experience with humour itself rather than perspective taking or knowledge of deception. Joking is social and cultural, so a part of this process is having to learn through social interaction.

When children have developed a basic understanding of others and an imagination they can use their humour to explore possible and actual emotions. For example, by hurling invisible food around and yelling in glee, “I’m messy” a child can get a parent to act out a scenario in which they pretend to be angry. The joke enables them to explore anger safely.

So when it comes to children’s humor, we need to be patient. And thank goodness for that – those Disney and Pixar movies would be so much harder to sit through without the off-color jokes that go over the children’s heads. For now, we enjoy just stealing noses.

23Mar2018
Kids Development, Parenting Tips
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March 23, 2018

Kids’ school holidays are the perfect time for parents and kids to bond through the extra family time you get.

School holidays might be fun at first, but as you cross out one after another activity on your holiday checklist, things could get boring and expensive after some time.

In addition, you would also want your kids to learn something out of the holidays. The key is to put proper planning in place on how to spend the holidays with children, so that your children may engage in self-development over the holidays.

Check out the following article now for the list of activities beneficial to your family and kids during kids’ school holidays!

Via Child and youth Protection Center of Zagreb: Spending holidays with your children

From children’s perspective, quality time includes direct and undivided attention of their parents.
School holidays offer opportunities for more family time and for the parents to improve positive communication and relationship with their children. Many parents, thinking about planning activities and fun for their children, may feel the approach of holidays is stressful. Some international studies show that about two thirds of children see quality time different from their parents. Parents who are very busy may think that cooking or watching TV in the same room is quality time with their children. From children’s perspective, quality time includes direct and undivided attention of their parents. We believe that it should enable talking about significant issues and practising useful shared activities.

Sometimes it is difficult to decide when is the ‘right’ time to spend with your children. The more grown up they are, due to their school and extra curricular activities, the more difficult it is . Parents often expect their children to be happy when they have planned special family events and activities, but it is not always the case. Apart from shared activities, quality time with children includes quality communication, too. Taking time to talk with your children is important in building an open and honest relationship, and it also creates an atmosphere where children can feel free to take up various issues. Talk to your children, but also remember to listen to what your children have to say. Foster your children’s curiosity and interests by asking a lot of ‘Why?’ and ‘How?’ questions. This helps children in learning how to express their thoughts and feelings. Let your children talk about themselves, about what they like to do and about their worries. This will help in creating the atmosphere of trust and acceptance.

10 tips how to improve the quality of communication between your children and you:

1. Gather round the table and enjoy family meals

Family members can exchange information; this is time when parents can listen, offer advice and support to their children;

2. Read to your children

Research show that it develops interest in knowledge acquisition and stimulates language development in children. It also enhances attention, concentration and curiosity in children;

3. Do household chores together

Sharing household chores is a very productive way of teaching children responsibility. Doing them together with your children helps them understand the value of team work and good communication;

4. Help your children with their homework

Parents’ willingness to help reinforces children’s interest for school and better academic achievement. Regular visits to the library are an inexpensive and good way of spending time with children;

5. Take up a family hobby

Activities like cooking, making things, fishing or cycling are an excellent way of spending quality time with your children;

6. Play

Parents should choose social games with their children over long hours of watching TV programmes;

7. Plan occasional family outings

Prepare a picnic, visit the local park, go cycling, walk in the forest, visit the zoo or the museum;

8. Initiate family physical activities

Both strengthening the body and helping in building up their personality and increasing motivation and perseverance, they are very important for the development of children;

9. Make a calendar of ‘family time’

Since many parents have a busy schedule, time scheduled for their children is getting lower on their priorities list. Make a calendar of planned family events together with your children. It may bring about some creative ideas. Try to stick to the plan.

Some ideas for family activities during school holidays:

· Organize the ‘Olympics’ for your family and friends. Let the children decide which disciplines will be included and let them make the medals. Hold the medal ceremony and proclaim the medallists. Celebrate at a barbecue.

· Visit the airport and watch the airplanes taking off and landing.

· Make your family coat of arms.

· Make and decorate some new and unusual cookies.

· Read about activities and events during school holidays in the local newspapers.

7Mar2018
Kids Development, Raising Strong Daughters
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March 7, 2018

As parents, we want our girl to grow up gracefully with kindness and high self-esteem. We want them to be strong and inspiring, to be able to carry themselves well when we cannot be there to help them.

If you are a parent to a girl, you have most probably thought about the question “How to raise a daughter” for thousands, if not millions of times.

As we all know, raising a daughter is complicated, raising strong daughters is even more so. There are many aspects to be given attention to when it comes to raising a strong daughter, and one of it is to educate them about womanhood.

Check out this article now on the things you should teach to your daughter about true womanhood!

Via iMOM: 8 Things to Teach Your Daughter About True Womanhood

What is true womanhood and what do we need to teach our daughters about it? If there were ever questions with complicated answers–those two qualify. But before we talk about what we want to teach our daughters about true womanhood, let’s think about ourselves first, because our daughters will learn the most about what it means to be a woman from us. If we’re comfortable in our own skin, we can teach them how to be comfortable in theirs. If we find joy and purpose in being a woman, they will too.

Look at your own life. Think about what’s important to you, the lessons you’ve learned that you want to pass on to your daughter. Use our list as a starting point. Even if you don’t agree with everything on it, let it spur you on to consider what messages you’re sending your girl. Here are our 8 things to teach your daughter about true womanhood.

1. Be True to Who You Are

There is no one right way to be a woman. You are unique and there is no one on earth exactly like you.

2. Speak Your Mind

Your thoughts have value. Your opinions have value. Speak them freely. Choose to be with people who allow you to speak your mind—this goes for friends and boyfriends. If someone tries to shut you down or can’t carry on a conversation without habitually getting angry or disrespectful, distance yourself. Of course, you’ll want to wisely choose how you speak your mind too.

3. You Are More Than Your Body

Think about this: If we did not have bodies, what would society use to assess us? Our actions, our words, our attitude. That is who you are. A woman is not her hair color, her weight, or her skin color. And, since those things are mainly determined by genetic predisposition, why spend precious time wishing you were different or trying to change things that don’t need to be changed?

4. You Have Choices

In our world, you can pretty much go after anything you want. The restrictions on what’s “acceptable” for women to pursue are lessening every day. So feel free to think big. If you fail, so what? Learn from it and praise yourself for trying in the first place. Trying is better than regretting.

5. Being a Wife Can Be Amazing

Going through life with a husband who loves you, encourages you, and is there for you, will add an incredible dimension to your life. Having said that, experiencing that kind of relationship hinges on making a wise choice about who you will marry. Being a wife to a man who is volatile, immature, or demeaning is not what being married is about.

6. Being Single Can Be Amazing

While single, you have the luxury of completely controlling your own time. Choose to fill it with things that enrich your life. If you do want to marry, try not to see singlehood as a holding area.

7. Being a Mother Can Be Amazing

Motherhood imbues you with a kind of love like no other. It is a love that will bring you your greatest joy and your greatest heartache. It will also require a lot of work and sacrifice on your part. All the more reason to choose a husband who will support you as a mother, and father his children well.

8. Men Are Different

To understand true womanhood, we need to understand true manhood. Science has proven that men and women are different. So try to learn about the motivators that drive men and how they are physiologically different from women. This information will serve you well on the job, in marriage, and in parenting.

True womanhood? It’s truly amazing.

Tell us! What would you teach your daughter about true womanhood?

24Feb2018
Kids Development, Parenting Tips
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February 24, 2018

Nothing pushes a parent’s buttons more than their kids’ bad behavior.

In today’s world, good manners, rules, and respect seem to be a foreign idea to many kids. Many parents are cracking their heads to find tips on how to deal with kids’ bad behavior.

Michele Borba, Ph.D., the parents’ advisor, and the author has once said that it is a mistake for parents to assume that kids’ bad behavior is a phase that will go away on its own. This opinion is also well supported by Alex J. Packer, Ph.D. an author, educator, and psychologist mentioning those good manners need to be taught, discussed and practiced.

Kids pick up on how to react and respond through modeling, which means watching and imitating the people around them. They learn from what they see by watching their parents, teachers, and even movie stars and rappers whom they are exposed to. If your kids are exposed to rude or bad behaviors, they are most likely going to model it.

Looking for ways to deal with kids’ bad behaviors? Watch this video now for the tips you need on how to deal with kids’ bad behavior.

5Feb2018
Kids Development, Parenting Tips
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February 5, 2018

via ResearchGate: Children with harsh parents were more influenced by the opinion of their peers.

In a study that tracked 1,500 students beginning in seventh grade, researchers found that those who were parented harshly were more likely by ninth grade to place more importance on their peer group than other responsibilities, including obeying their parents’ rules. This meant they were more likely to engage in risky behaviors in eleventh grade, with males seeing greater delinquency like hitting and stealing, and females more frequent early sexual behavior.

We spoke to lead author Rochelle F Hentges about the study.

ResearchGate: What motivated this study?

Rochelle Hentges: We wanted to better understand how and why some children leave education early, either by dropping out of high school or not completing college. Prior research has indicated that children growing up in harsh or adverse environments are more likely to drop out. But we’re still not sure what it is about these environments that affect educational achievement. Evolutionary theories have suggested that, because harsh environments can make survival uncertain, individuals growing up in harsh environments are primed to try and capitalize on immediate rewards rather than focusing on long-term goals or outcomes. For example, research has found that children growing up in harsh or unstable environments are more likely to take a smaller, but immediate reward (two M&Ms) instead of waiting to get a larger reward (five M&Ms). Many of the messages that children get about why education is important are related to long-term goals, like getting into a good college or getting a better-paying job. I hypothesized, based on this evolutionary theory, that children growing up in environments with harsh parenting would be less likely to complete high school or go to college.

RG: What do you consider to be harsh parenting?

Hentges: In our study, harsh parenting was considered to be acts of verbal or physical aggression, such as yelling, name-calling, shoving, or threatening the child.

RG: What were the results of your study?

Hentges: We found that harsh parenting in seventh grade (around age 12-13) predicted an extreme peer orientation in eighth grade. An extreme peer orientation means that the child is more influenced by what their peers think or want instead of their parents. For example, they’re more likely to blow off doing homework if a friend calls and wants them to hang-out and they’re more likely to disobey parents’ rules if it means going along with what their friends want to do. This extreme peer orientation predicted higher delinquency for both boys and girls and early sexual behavior for girls in eleventh grade. For boys, higher delinquency predicted lower educational attainment at age 21, while for girls it was early sexual behavior that predicted lower educational attainment. When we ran our analyses, we controlled for prior standardized test scores, GPA, and students’ beliefs about how important school was to them. We also controlled for other potential contextual factors that might have influenced educational attainment, like race, family income, and the parents’ education level.

RG: How did you conduct the study?

Hentges: We used a pre-existing dataset from the Maryland Adolescent Development in Context Study that had collected information from close to 1,500 students beginning in seventh grade. The sample was collected in a large county in Maryland near Washington, D.C. and was diverse in terms of race, income, and geographical location (urban, rural, and suburban).

RG: How does the peer relationships of children with harsh parenting differ to those without?

Hentges: We used a continuous scale of harsh parenting that ranged from very little to a lot. We found that children who were exposed to higher levels of harsh parenting were more likely to say that it was okay to break their parents’ rules in order to keep their friends and that they spent more time on activities with friends instead of other things they should be doing, like homework or chores. So children with harsher parents may be more susceptible to peer pressure.

RG: What do you think schools can do to increase the engagement of these students?

Hentges: Something that is unique about evolutionary life history theory is that it tries to explain why children in harsh environments would focus on immediate rewards instead of long-term goals. If the future is uncertain, there is a certain adaptive value to capitalizing on what’s in front of you rather than putting a lot of resources toward something that might not pay off. So telling students that education is important for their long-term success may motivate children growing up in stable environments with warm, supportive parents. But for other children, this message may not mean as much because they’re focused on surviving and getting through their day-to-day life. One thing that schools may be able to do to increase engagement is to make education more rewarding and fulfilling in the short-term. For example, students often report that they enjoy working with and learning from peers and hands-on projects or experiences, like going to museums and zoos. Importantly, these sorts of classroom activities tend to decrease from elementary to high school. But if we can make school more enjoyable in the short-term, we may be able to keep students engaged in education for longer.

26Jan2018
Kids Development, Parenting Tips
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January 26, 2018

For many of us, rushing to set up the dining table for dinner after a long, long day of work and a round of cooking can be pretty tiring and frustrating, isn’t it? Well, there is a pretty good solution to this – getting your kids to help with meal-time preparation!

You can get your kids to help out by setting up the table so that you won’t need to rush it right after your cooking is done. For kids aged 5 and above, they would be more than ready to learn this fundamental chore from you!

To start, talk to your kids to let them know how important their task is to get them valuing the task they do and to secure their interest. For younger children, do be mindful to leave out sharp cutleries and task them with handling dishes which are less easily breakable. On the other hand, older kids can help out with transferring cooked dishes to the table and in the setting up of sharper cutleries such as a knife. At the beginning, your kids may be unfamiliar with the setup and where things are, so be sure to have whatever needed on the table readily available on a kitchen counter where they can easily retrieve them to help ease the setup process.

Setting up the table is an excellent way for your children to help out before mealtime. So, be very sure to teach them how with this easy-to-follow video clip!

22Jan2018
Kids Development, Parenting Tips
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January 22, 2018

Temper tantrums are very common in kids aged from 1 to 4. More than half of the kids let their frustration out for at least once a week. Kids start to throw tantrums, be it whining, begging or going wild for a number of reasons. They could be seeking attention or testing your limits. Whatever the reasons are, kid’s tantrums are tough to deal with. How could we help kids to calm down in the midst of their tantrums?

Sometimes deep breathing isn’t the remedy that works for your child. Children only know a limited number of approaches to break through the situations that are troubling them. They may find it difficult to understand just what is making them upset or to discuss their sensations.

In situations like this, try talking to your children in a helpful manner, show your concern and care for them to help them ease the angry sensations. You should be helping them to explore reliable methods of handling rage and also develop positive connections between you and your child.

Watch the video listed below and discover the top 10 leading parenting tips from professionals in education and also trusted parenting resources to soothe your children down within a minute.

15Jan2018
Kids Development, Parenting Tips
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January 15, 2018

via Ideas.Ted : Moms and dads often feel like they can’t win. If they pay too much attention to their kids, they’re helicopter parents; too little, and they’re absentee parents. What’s the happy medium that will result in truly happy, self-sufficient kids? Here are five tips.

1. Give your kids things they can own and control.
“Enlist the children in their own upbringing. Research backs this up: children who plan their own goals, set weekly schedules and evaluate their own work build up their frontal cortex and take more control over their lives. We have to let our children succeed on their own terms, and yes, on occasion, fail on their own terms. I was talking to Warren Buffett’s banker, and he was chiding me for not letting my children make mistakes with their allowance. And I said, ‘But what if they drive into a ditch?’ He said, ‘It’s much better to drive into a ditch with a $6 allowance than a $60,000-a-year salary or a $6 million inheritance’.“

— Bruce Feiler, writer and author of The Secrets of Happy Families

2. Don’t worry about raising happy kids.
“In our desperate quest to create happy kids, we may be assuming the wrong moral burden. It strikes me as a better goal, and, dare I say, a more virtuous one, to focus on making productive kids and moral kids, and to simply hope that happiness will come to them by virtue of the good they do and the love that they feel from us. I think if we all did that, the kids would still be all right, and so would their parents — possibly in both cases even better.”

— Jennifer Senior, writer and author of All Joy and No Fun

3. Show your kids that you value who they are as people.

“Childhood needs to teach our kids how to love, and they can’t love others if they don’t first love themselves, and they won’t love themselves if we can’t offer them unconditional love. When our precious offspring come home from school or we come home from work, we need to close our technology, put away our phones, look them in the eye and let them see the joy that fills our faces when we see our child. Then, we have to say, ‘How was your day? What did you like about today?’ They need to know they matter to us as humans, not because of their GPA.”

— Julie Lythcott-Haims, former dean of freshmen at Stanford University and author of How to Raise an Adult

4. Teach your kids to help out around the house — without being asked.

“We absolve our kids of doing the work of chores around the house, and then they end up as young adults in the workplace still waiting for a checklist, but it doesn’t exist. More importantly, they lack the impulse, the instinct to roll up their sleeves and pitch in and look around and wonder, How can I be useful to my colleagues? How can I anticipate a few steps ahead to what my boss might need?”

— Julie Lythcott-Haims

5. Remember that the little things matter.

“Quite small things that parents do are associated with good outcomes for children — talking and listening to a child, responding to them warmly, teaching them their letters and numbers, taking them on trips and visits. Reading to children every day seems to be really important, too. In one study, children whose parents were reading to them daily when they were five and then showing an interest in their education at the age of 10 were significantly less likely to be in poverty at the age of 30 than those whose parents weren’t doing those things.”

— Helen Pearson, science journalist and author of The Life Project

28Dec2017
Kids Development, Parenting Tips
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December 28, 2017

Via Mommy Moment: Tips for Raising Content Kids

When parents are asked what their one wish for their children is, many respond with the fact that they want their children to be happy.

We all want to be raising content kids. Parents want happy children. From the moment they are born our kids’ happiness becomes a top priority. That doesn’t change as they grow, however it can seem to get more difficult to navigate how to ensure their happiness.

Remember that having happy kids does not mean giving children everything they want. It does not mean giving in when they whine and beg. It does not mean having them kids signed up for that dance class or hockey program. Many parents fall into the trap of saying yes to their children because they do not want them to feel bad. Kids, just like us, will have disappointments in life and it is not our job as parents to “fix” their disappointment.

Happiness is about parenting the individual child. Every child is different and will not necessarily respond to parenting the same way. The Happy Kid Handbook explores the differences among introverts, extroverts, and everything in between. This guide to parenting offers parents the strategies they need to meet their child exactly where he or she needs to be met.

Sometimes our child’s emotions can get overlooked. Parents tend to focus more on how their children are behaving, rather than how they are feeling. Maintaining an awareness of your child’s emotional state and keeping in mind that emotions play a big part in their wellbeing, can help parents become far more involved with their children and educate themselves on ways to raise a happy and content child.

Tips For Raising Content Kids

Ensure Your Happiness

Children can feed off our emotions. If we as parents are unhappy or not content in life, it is more likely that our children will feel that and mirror our feelings. Surround yourself with positive people, laugh often and take time for yourself to boost your mood. Chances are you will see a difference in your child’s emotional state as well.

Do Not Expect Perfection

Learn to expect effort over perfection. As long as your child is putting in the effort to do their best, that’s all that matters. Expecting perfection puts a lot of stress onto a child and therefore causes irritation and lower self-confidence when they don’t perform perfectly. No one is perfect. Make it very clear to your child that effort is important but that you don’t expect perfection.

Give Responsibilities

Giving your child responsibilities can help to increase their self-confidence and make them feel valued. Delegate responsibilities to your child that are age appropriate and within their capabilities. This will help to make them feel as though they are contributing something positive and in turn, increase their happiness.

Teach Gratitude

Take time daily to focus on what each member of your family is grateful for. If you all sit at the table together to enjoy dinner every night as a family, go around the table and express one thing you are grateful for each night. Doing this can help to foster a positive attitude, contentment, and happiness.

Your child’s happiness can depend on many different factors and it is important that we as parents don’t put too much pressure on them and focus on fostering a positive attitude. Your child will be much happier for it.

28Dec2017
Kids Development, Parenting Tips
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December 28, 2017

“Good job!” “Say sorry.” “Share.” “Do you want a time out?” Do these sound familiar to you? If so, you have probably picked up the “Parentspeak” without yourself even noticing it.

We might have started the “Parentspeak” with a good intention but little do we realise what it does to our kids.

According to Jennifer Lehr from WSJ, “Parentspeak” demands of compliance from kids rather than helping parents with their understanding on their kids’ feelings.

Check out this video now to find how you can speak to understand your kids’ feelings instead of giving them parents’ instructions to comply to!

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