via childhood 101: As much as we try to avoid it, conflict is a normal part of life. Helping children learn to manage conflict effectively will also help them to experience more fulfilling friendships and enjoy better social experiences, both at school and outside of it. Of course, how well children are able to resolve conflict is directly related to their age, stage of development and life experiences – for example, a young child may not know how to compromise without assistance or have the emotional capacity to empathise with the needs of others. Equipping children of all ages with the strategies shared below will help them become more effective at resolving conflict and being a good friend.

8 Tips for Helping Your Child Resolve Conflict and Be A Good Friend

Help your child unlock the keys to friendship with these five conflict resolution behaviours and three important ways of practising them.

Tip #1: Learning to Manage Strong Emotions
While children have the right to feel strong emotions such as anger and frustration, it is important that they learn that yelling or being physically hurtful or intimidating does not help to resolve conflict. Helping children learn simple strategies for remaining calm, such as taking a deep breath or stopping and counting to ten is an important part of the process of effective conflict resolution.

Tip #2: Talk & Listen
Help your child to recognise the value of using words and speaking nicely to solve conflict. Work together to develop a phrase that they can say to a friend to help start the resolution process, for example, “Let’s talk about this and find a way to work together.” Learning to say how they feel and what they wish would happen, rather than attributing blame and overly focusing on the cause of the conflict, are also great skills to have.

Being a good listener is also important. Helping children learn to listen to each other can be difficult, especially when they are very young or emotionally upset, and often times when they are tired or upset trying to talk it through will not work well. In these instances, it is often best to wait until your child is calm before proceeding with any positive conflict resolution strategies.

Tip #3: Problem Solve Together to Find a Solution
Initially children will need help to navigate the process of brainstorming potential solutions together, with the aim being to find a solution that makes everyone happy. For younger children, keep the options limited and simple. For older children, remind them that everyone has the right to be heard and that no idea is a silly idea.

Tip #4: Encourage Fairness
Talk regularly with children about the benefits of being kind, being fair and sharing with others, and catch them doing the right thing as often as you can – rewarding positive examples with lots of verbal encouragement. While young children find it difficult to understand why they need to ‘take turns,’ they will often be more willing to share when encouraged to let the other child have a turn once they are done – this gives the child a sense of control over the situation and the act of sharing, rather then it being something they are being directed to do by an adult or peer.

Tip #5: When Nothing Else Works
Teach your child that it is okay to walk away when nothing else works, and that they should feel safe to come to you or another trusted adult to seek assistance resolving difficult situations.

Tip #6: Role Play Friendship-Related Scenarios
Use role play to help your child feel more comfortable employing the strategies outlined above. Taking time to actually talk through and act out potential scenarios that might develop in the playground or on a play date will help your child feel more confident to use these conflict resolution strategies as needed.

Tip #7: Encourage Imaginative Play
Imaginative play provides a powerful safe haven for children to work through overwhelming emotions, to make sense of things they have seen, heard or learned from others, and for processing social interactions, including conflicts. Having the space, time and freedom to play imaginatively, provides children with a sense of power – they feel in control, capable of figuring things out, of thinking things through and solving problems. My girls both love playing with figurines and I regularly see elements of their real life experiences re-enacted in imaginative play.

Tip #8: Host Regular Play Dates
Regular play dates provide your child with real life opportunities to develop friendships and to use the strategies included above with your support, away from the stress of the school playground or other larger group setting.


via Things I Teach My Children: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Adults love to ask this question of children and relish the answers we’re given.

We love to hear the originality and confidence children possess when saying they’re going to be an astronaut or doctor. Out of love for them, but also pride in the way it reflects upon us, we actively nurture our kids’ highest aspirations. We want to believe our children can achieve anything. The bigger the goal, the more incredible the feat, the more our hearts yearn for its fulfillment.

Encouraging our children to dream is one of parenting’s most beautiful endeavors.

But there’s another component to consider when talking with children about their career ambitions, and it warrants just as much cultivation as dream-building. This component may not be as romantic, but it’s intrinsic to many of the disparities facing our society and thus deserves to be equally emphasized.

We simply need to do a better job of teaching kids that all work, done with dignity, has value. All work, not just the coveted positions, is necessary to the world we live in. All people, no matter their occupations, are deserving of respect and appreciation.

The Messages We Give Our Children

When I was in high school, steeped in honors coursework, I was asked by a teacher during class to share what “I wanted to be.”

I told him I wanted to be a school bus driver.

His response was not a favorable one. I was lectured in front of my peers on how each one of us is called to “dream big” and use every ounce of our talent to pursue these dreams. Otherwise, we were wasting our potential.

I wanted to be a school bus driver because I enjoyed driving. I liked the idea of taking children to and from school safely. I loved country roads and the idea of having a route in a rural county appealed. I was also from a low-income household and somewhat uncomfortable with the culture and assumptions that surround an “honors” education.

The teacher’s perspective seemed especially nonsensical to me later that afternoon as I stepped off the bus and said goodbye to the woman who had once again ensured I’d made it safely home from school.

Alas, I went off to college and never became a school bus driver.

Americans love a strong work ethic, but we also have a blatant hierarchy of “worthy” and “unworthy” jobs which consumes much of our discussion surrounding employment. This has caused a tragic cycle of injustice and heartache over what makes a person a worthy contributor to society.

There’s currently a great deal of frustration surrounding the disparity of work, the ability to make a living and the giving and receiving of respect. I’m not an economist or a sociologist, but the lack of dignity given to huge segments of our workforce seems central to our woes. How can we make changes and ensure our children grow up with genuine appreciation and respect for all those who make our society function?

Lessons in Work and Dignity

Millennials in particular are criticized for not wanting to take jobs considered menial or unglamorous. I have not found this to be the case. But even if were true, the irony that Millennials are faulted for having the very attitude perpetuated by so much of society cannot be lost.

Most of us heard at some point in our education that we’d be condemned to “flipping burgers for a living” if we didn’t apply ourselves – having a job flipping burgers being portrayed as a negative thing.

With the economic difficulties, I think we are at a crossroads. There’s a great deal of learning to be done, but we can use our experiences to be more intentional about fueling dreams and teaching our children the dignity of all work.

As parents we can be intentional about stepping outside our niches and ensuring we have friendships and meaningful relationships with people from a diversity of occupational backgrounds. Exposing our children to this diversity will open their minds to new possibilities and drive home the point that no job is above or beneath them.

We can ensure that the quality of our interactions with others is not dependent on their job statuses. There are few things as painful to experience as a human treated as less important because of the type of service they are providing to society. Our kids need to see that their parents acknowledge the personhood of all. The person cleaning the doctor’s office is just as worthy of respect as the doctor doing the examination. The person serving our food is just as deserving of a sincere “hello” as the CEO dining at that establishment.

We need to debunk the myth of the “lazy poor.” It’s served as a convenient excuse to justify disparities in our society, but we all know deep down that the families working the hardest are often the ones getting paid the least. There is nothing “lazy” about a person holding down multiple part time jobs to put food on the table, or someone who is rolling up their sleeves and doing the job most are unwilling to perform. If a service is necessary for our society to function, but the person performing that service is not receiving a living wage, how can we teach our children that this is a just or sustainable situation?

Fundamental to all of this is our openness to our children’s dreams, even if they diverge from our own. Perhaps we imagine our kids as Nobel Prize winning scientists. But they may not want to follow the course we have laid out for them. If we give children unconditional love and support, they will grow up reflecting these same virtues to all those who labor alongside them.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have dreams for my children. But the only one I’m really comfortable sharing with my children at this time is a hope that they will live their lives and do their work in a way that treats fairly of all those whose paths they cross.

Between you and me though, the kid who becomes a school bus driver may end up being my favorite.


via tommy’s: Many of us in the Tommy’s family have kids at home, and we’ve been brainstorming ways to share our love for sustainability with them. In addition to modeling waste-cutting strategies like shopping from a grocery list and saving leftovers, here are some super tips for how to teach kids not to waste food.

Our Tips:
1. START A FAMILY FOOD-WASTE CHALLENGE
Kids love games, and when your family sets a goal to see how much food can be “rescued,” they’ll not only enjoy counting and measuring the food that isn’t going into the trash but also coming up with ideas for how to waste less. Be sure to set a family reward for when you reach your goal!

2. LIMIT SNACKING BEFORE DINNER
If your children want an after school snack, make sure it’s a portion controlled healthy treat. Kids who snack mindlessly and without supervision tend to eat more, and that can negatively impact how much they eat at the dinner table.

3. MAKE FOOD FUN AND EASY TO EAT
How often have you thrown away half a banana or an apple with three bites taken out of it? Cut fruits and veggies into bite-size pieces and store what doesn’t get consumed in the refrigerator for the next day. Read our recent blog post for kid-friendly snacks that you can make in advance and share when needed!

4. REDUCE PORTION SIZE
Young children will waste less food when served smaller portions. For older children, let them help themselves to food but discourage overloading their plate. If they are still hungry after finishing what they’ve taken, they can have a second helping.

5. SAVE THE LEFTOVERS
Leftovers can be re-purposed for lunch, and side dishes and entrees can be given new life in a different recipe the next day. Are you looking for creative cooking ideas for using leftovers? Visit our Recipes section!

6. PACK LUNCHES STRATEGICALLY.
While most food waste occurs at the dinner table, it also can happen at school during lunch.

Encourage your kids to bring home what they don’t eat so you can talk with them about why certain foods weren’t consumed.

7. TEACH YOUR KIDS ABOUT FOOD.
Beyond shopping at the grocery store, most children (and many adults) don’t have a good understanding of where food comes from and the work that’s required to produce it. Here are a few fun, family-friendly activities to try:

  • Visit a local farm to learn about crops and animals.
  • Plant a vegetable or herb garden.
  • Plan and cook meals together.
  • Start a compost bin.
  • Explain what happens to food when we throw it away.

8. BE A GOOD ROLE MODEL
If we want our kids not to waste food, it’s important to be a good role model and make sure we are setting a positive example. Children follow our words and actions, so when we say things like, “That apple is perfectly fine, and we’re not going to waste it. Let’s save it for a snack later on.” and “I’m going to eat the leftover veggie pot pie for lunch, would you like some too?” we’re modeling the behaviors we would like them to develop.

With a little commitment and persistence, the suggestions above for reducing food waste at home are very attainable. Not only will these tips help you save money at the grocery store, but they’ll also give your children the tools they need to value food, not waste it.

Do you have tips and strategies for cutting back on food waste in your house or for teaching kids about food? Share them in the comments section and on social media!


via EMPOWERING PARENTS.COM: When you look at kids and people in general, it’s easy to see that we all have differences in our “wiring,” in how our brains work. As a parent, you see these differences between your children every day. Your son is great at figuring out how long it will take him to write that English paper while your daughter always seems to think she’ll get it done in an hour, even though she never does. Or one child remembers everything she’s told, while the other can’t remember a log-in and password a minute after you just said it.

The ability to plan, manage time and remember details are all mental abilities—or brain functions—known as executive functions. Executive functions also include the ability to regulate emotions, solve problems, be flexible, organized and communicate well, among others. Executive functions strongly influence your child’s ability to excel not only at certain tasks, like being able to plan ahead so all their homework gets done on time, but also play a part in determining how successful they may be in school, work and other roles in their lives.

The good news is that science has shown that we can change our brain wiring and improve our executive functions. What this means for parents is that while your child may have difficulties at home or at school that are at least partially based on delays or differences in executive functions, through training and practice he or she can develop these lagging skills. Strengthened executive functions will enable your child to be more successful academically, become better able to cope with life’s daily challenges and improve their ability to relate with others—leading to a more satisfying and productive life.

You can help your child develop these skills through brain training exercises—or better yet, games. Children naturally learn through play. Play involves the whole child in the experience and thus intensifies the learning experience. Practice is also important. In the brain, each time a behavior is repeated it strengthens the brain’s “wiring,” the ability to do the behavior more successfully the next time. Think of it this way: helping your child learn an executive function is no different than when they learn to ride a bike or recite the alphabet. Make it fun and keep at it, and you’ll see gains.

Here are six activities you can do with your child to promote healthy brain development that will result in improvements in several key executive functions. By the way, these exercises not only help kids; they work for adults as well!

1. Elevator Breathing. Practicing deep breathing (“elevator breathing” or moving the breath to all parts of the body) helps improve memory as well as emotional control. Kids love doing this, so do it often. Start out by having your child sitting in a cross-legged position or lying down and breathing naturally. After she has practiced breathing naturally, say:Imagine that your breath is like an elevator taking a ride through your body. To start the elevator, I want you to breathe in through your nose. Now breathe out all your air. Now breathe in and take your elevator breath up to your chest. Hold it. Now breathe out all of your air. Now breathe in and take your elevator breath up to the top floor, up through your throat into your face and forehead. Hold it. Now breathe out and feel your elevator breath take all your troubles and worries down through your chest, your belly, your legs and out the elevator door in your feet.

2. The Brain/Body Coordination Workout. Our brains and our bodies are part of our whole self, and both parts need exercise. When we “exercise” them together, we are actually helping various functions of the brain work more collaboratively and stay in sync. Motor coordination is a function of our brain as well as our body. “Exercises” like those below promote integration between essential brain functions, leading to an overall better performing brain.

Toe Wiggling. This greatly helps coordination. Kids of all ages can easily learn to do this. Every morning before getting out of bed, have your child slowly begin to move all their toes on both feet up and down, and then change to just the two big toes.
Your Other Hand. Have your child try doing things with their non-dominant hand. If they are right-handed, have them use their left and if left-handed, use their right for things like writing, getting dressed and eating.

Get Moving. You can do simple exercises with your child like sitting and touching your right elbow to your left knee. Do this five times and then do left elbow to right knee. Repeat several times. Or you can do the “windmill” by standing with feet spread apart and alternate between touching your left foot with your right hand and vice versa. Repeat several times.

Tickle the Ivories. Learning to play either the piano or an electronic keyboard is one of the best ways to improve brain integration. An internet search will bring up instructional videos you can use at home. If you can find a Yamaha music program for children in your area, I highly recommend it for children as young as three up to young teens.

3. The Concentration Game. Activities to improve memory and concentration are important for all of us! For younger children, you can take a few of their toys and line them up. Then cover them and take one away. See if they can tell you which one is missing. You can also have them try to remember short lists of familiar objects in the home. Try remembering them forward and backward. For older children and teens, try putting random objects in front of them for 15 seconds, then remove the objects and see how many they can remember. Start out with five and keep increasing the number as they master the task. You can also help auditory memory by giving them a random list of numbers or words orally and having them repeat them. Start with only 2 or 3 and work up from there.

4. Family Game Night. Playing games like checkers and chess, as well card games including UNO, Hearts, Go Fish and Speed teach problem solving, planning and cooperation (such as taking turns and handling frustration). Board games are also great for this, such as Monopoly, Sorry! and Yahtzee. Games like Jenga and Operation improve attention, concentration, coordination and frustration tolerance. Another plus is that playing games together is fun for everyone and helps strengthen family bonds. Try it once a week and see what it does for your child and your relationship.

5. Play Games Online. There are many great websites offering free games that are both fun and improve a wide variety of academic skills. This is “screen time” parents can actually feel good about! Check out www.kidsknowit.com, www.kidsmathgamesonline.com and www.learninggamesforkids.com.

6. Daily Talk Time/Triumphs and Challenges. In today’s world of constant texting, talking—really communicating—is getting to be a lost art. Taking time each day with each child to learn about their triumphs and challenges and sharing yours will greatly improve your child’s communication and conversational skills. Sharing your triumphs and challenges can also help them to learn problem solving skills. Family dinnertime is an awesome time to do this and a great tradition to start. Or read a book with your child and ask questions about what was happening. Discuss the events and also the feelings, not only how the characters were feeling but what your child was thinking and feeling as well. Share your thoughts and feelings as well.

Taking time to teach, encourage and participate with your child in these activities will not only improve brain function but build relationships and reduce stress in all who participate. Play may be the work of the child but it is good for adults to slip into their own inner child now and then as well. So “exercise” your brain along with your child’s, knowing you are having fun together while promoting growth.


via The Tech Advocate: In this technological age, learning to code has become just as important as learning to read and write. Indeed, coding is likely a more valuable and necessary skill these days than writing.

Some schools have acknowledged this and have integrated coding classes into their curriculum. However, Idit Harel thinks American schools are teaching kids how to code “all wrong.” Teaching kids to program through apps and “coding tutorials” Harel believes is a “superficial response” to the increased need for individuals with programming skills.

Whether the current response to this need is right or wrong, there are definitely some more creative, fresh ways to teach kids how to code. We have listed 5 of those ways here.

Install an “Old-School” Operating System

When computers were first introduced to schools for learning purposes, there were no icons and there was no mouse. Students needed to understand how computers worked and controlled it with a programming language. By setting up school computers in the way that this father did and adopting Seymour Papert’s Constructivist approach, kids, (as young as 3), could naturally learn to use the command-line and use computers to solve real problems.

Gamification

While this might not be the “freshest” method, it is a proven, fun, and interactive way to teach kids to code. Already, educators have realized the potential of the uses for Minecraft in the classroom, and long before this, kids were playing and modding Minecraft, simultaneously learning to code. The idea of gamification can be applied to other learn-to-code methods in order to motivate kids and make the learning process fun.

Introduce and Teach Programming Languages Like Any Other Language

Just as English has symbols, words, and grammatical rules, programming languages also have symbols, words, and rules. Just as different natural languages have different sets of grammatical rules, different programming languages have different sets of syntax rules. Programming languages should be introduced and taught in the same way that educators and parents introduce and teach children their first and second languages. Since children aged 0-5 have the highest capacity to learn multiple languages, though they don’t understand the level of learning happening, it only makes sense to introduce young children to programming languages in the same way and at the same time that they start learning natural languages.

Using Physical Objects

Learning to code doesn’t always have to be done on a computer; kids can use physical objects. Children can learn Boolean logic by playing with objects such as the Osmo Coding Awbie, which teaches kids such reasoning through programming puzzles. As well, combining play with coding, LEGO BOOST allows kids to physically build their own robot and code its behavior and actions through an app.

Code Schools

Whether it’s online or after school in a classroom setting, there are lots of programs that teach children how to code. Start with a search in your locale, or check out Sylvan Learning or theCoderSchool. If there are none in your area, or you’d prefer an online course, there are several platforms, including Made with Code Google, CodaKid, TechRocket, and more. The camaraderie and group-think atmosphere is good for kids and builds teamwork skills.

How do you teach kids to code? Share your methods with us!


via All Kids: Our cotton ball sheep craft is a fun farm craft for your preschooler. We’ve found that combining cotton balls with a decent amount of glue makes for a very child pleasing craft, and this fuzzy sheep craft is a definite favorite. Even very young children will enjoy this craft as they get to experience the texture of the cotton balls and the joy of being able to do a large part of the craft “all by themselves”.

What you’ll need:

  • White and black construction paper
  • Cotton balls
  • Glue
  • Scissors
  • White crayon
  • 2 googly eyes
  • Red yarn
  • Sheep template 1 Sheep template 2

How to make your cotton ball sheep craft:

  1. Print our template(s) and cut out the pieces. Trace the faces and legs onto black construction paper using a white crayon and cut out the pieces. Cut the body of the sheep out of white paper.
  2. Cover the sheep’s body piece with glue.
  3. Stick the 4 legs onto the bottom of the body.
  4. Cover the rest of the sheep with cotton balls.
  5. Glue the sheep’s head onto the body (on top of the cotton balls).
  6. Glue the googly eyes on the head. Glue the red yarn on the sheep’s face to make a smiling mouth.
  7. Cut a small triangle out of black construction paper and glue it to the face as a nose.

via PBS Parents: It’s a few hours past midnight, and suddenly you hear your young child call out to you in fear. You groggily hurry over to find your child sobbing and babbling about a monster in the closet.
In this type of crisis moment, the first thing to do is to focus on comfort. Gather your child in your arms. Say, “I’m here. You’re safe.” Check the closet, if your child insists, but mostly just let your child feel the security of your gentle touch and soft words. As your child settles, you may want to use the additional coping strategies described below, but the first step is simple comfort.

How Common Are Bad Dreams in Children?

Bad dreams and nightmares (which are defined as bad dreams that cause the sleeper to wake up suddenly) are very common in children. A study from The Netherlands by Peter Muris and his colleagues found that 67 percent of four- to six-year-olds reported having scary dreams sometimes or often, compared to 96 percent of seven- to nine-year-olds and 76 percent of ten- to twelve-year-olds.

Other research shows that although most of the dreams children have are pleasant, upsetting dreams happen often. Piroska Sándor and colleagues looked at six weeks’ worth of dream records, collected by parents, from children ages four to eight years. The children reported that 27 percent of their dreams featured negative or upsetting emotions. (Fifty-nine percent of their dreams were positive, and the rest were emotionally neutral). Children over six are less likely than younger kids to tell their parents about nightmares.

What Are the Topics of Children‘s Nightmares?

Verbal one- to two-year-olds can often name for parents what frightened them in a nightmare, but it’s certainly easier for researchers to study nightmares in older children. In the Netherlands study, preschoolers most frequently described scary dreams featuring: 1) imaginary creatures such as ghosts or monsters; 2) getting hurt or someone they love being harmed; and 3) animals. The older children also frequently mentioned scary dreams about imaginary creatures and injury, but they were less likely to mention scary dreams about animals and more likely to mention dreams about being kidnapped.

Across all ages, 70 percent of children said that the topic of their scary dreams was influenced by information they gained, such as seeing a news story about a kidnapper on television. Only 15 percent said their scary dreams were linked to real experiences.

Bad Dreams and Anxiety

Many studies have found a strong link between scary dreams or nightmares and daytime stress or anxiety. In general, kids who are more anxious during the day tend to have nightmares more often. It’s not clear which causes what: being anxious may cause kids to have more nightmares and to perceive their dreams as more frightening, or having more nightmares may carry over to greater anxiety during the day. It’s also possible that other factors, such as stressful life events, might cause both more daytime anxiety and more nightmares. Although some theorists believe that scary dreams are a way of working through upsetting material, others say they’re a sign of emotional overload.

How Can Parents Help?

Addressing daytime stress and establishing good sleep habits are useful strategies for preventing nightmares in children. Sleep-deprived children are more likely to have nightmares, but scary dreams can also cause kids to resist going to bed. Regular, soothing bedtime routines can help kids unwind. Here are other strategies you may want to consider.

Teach coping strategies. Knowing what to do in a tough situation helps kids feel better able to cope. Children with frequent nightmares are often afraid at bedtime. Teach your child to relax through deep breathing, muscle relaxation, or visualizing happy memories, fun plans, or favorite books and movies. Some children like counting up by threes or down from 100 to clear their minds. Distracting your child with a positive image right after a nightmare often helps it fade. Some children like having a flashlight, dream catcher, or “monster spray” by their bedside to minimize or manage scary dreams.

Provide a nighttime partner. Jonathan Kushnir and Avi Sadeh at Tel Aviv University gave preschool children with nighttime fears a stuffed animal they called “huggypuppy” and told the children either that the puppy used to be happy and was now sad, so the children needed to comfort it and help it not feel scared at night, or that the puppy would protect the children at night. Both strategies led to fewer nighttime fears and reduced parent involvement at night. Benefits continued for at least six months after this intervention.

Teach about dreams. Elementary school-age children may have beliefs about dreams that you need to correct. For instance, they may think that dreams are a prophecy of a future event, that by dreaming something they can cause it to occur, or that the bad dreams are a punishment for something they have done. The key idea to convey is that dreams are just thoughts, and thoughts are never dangerous. One way to demonstrate this, sometime during the day, is to have your child close her eyes and imagine—as hard she can—that her thumbs have turned green. Then she should open her eyes and check for a color change. Repeat until your child is convinced that thoughts won’t cause something bad to happen.

Rewrite the story. Children with more intense nighttime fears tend to have strong imaginations and greater difficulty distinguishing fantasy from reality. Because they can imagine scary situations vividly, those situations feel very real. Just telling frightened young children, “It’s not real!” isn’t helpful when the pictures in their head seem so big and compelling. Instead, tell your child, “You’re in charge of your imagination. Blink your eyes and change the story.” You may need to help your child imagine a happy or silly ending to the nightmare. For instance, your child could imagine sucking up the monster with a giant vacuum or waving a lightsaber to make the monster disappear—poof! If memories of a bad dream persist during the day, you may want have your child draw a picture to change the story.


via houzz: The summer of 1968, my parents were in the market for their first home. In a neighborhood they liked, they found two houses, side by side, up for sale. After they toured both, they decided on the slightly smaller one on the corner, and moved in a few weeks before my older brother was born. Three more of us followed in steady succession.

The people who bought the house next door were an older couple. If you restrict the definition of “good neighbors” to how they keep their homes, then the Lincolns were the best. They kept their house and yards immaculate, but they were unfriendly. His constant expression was disapproval mixed with suspicion, and she always seemed to be discovering a bad smell.

My parents took care of our home and yards, but in the front our lawn met theirs, and the line of demarcation was as obvious as if there had been a fence. Second only to the care and keeping of his enormous Cadillac, lawn maintenance was Mr. Lincoln’s life’s work. When a ball fell across the property line, one of us would retrieve it, running as if the grass were lava.

My siblings and I were taught to be respectful of all of our neighbors’ property and the neighbors themselves, but the Lincolns were such a couple of curmudgeons, our mere existence was an affront. This sort of disdain wears on even the strongest psyche. When we moved it was such a relief to have acres of woods and fields to roam through and to be free of constant suspicion and disapproval.

When I grew up and bought a home of my own, I discovered we had the kindest neighbors in the world, but even so I tried to make sure my children weren’t wearing out our neighbors’ warmest welcome.

Here are my recommendations for helping your children learn how to be good neighbors.

1. Establish boundaries and routines with your neighbors first. This sounds obvious, but in the busyness of life, simple things can be forgotten or taken for granted. Ask your neighbors what they would want your children to do if a ball goes into their yard. May your child walk into their yard and retrieve it, or would your neighbor prefer a knock on the door first? Are there any special considerations? Does your neighbor work at night, and would he appreciate quiet right outside his bedroom window during the day? Asking simple questions like these will show you care about and respect your neighbor’s wishes and needs.

2. Teach your children literal boundaries. When they are quite young, explain where your property ends and where your neighbors properties’ begin. Explain to your kids what you and the neighbors discussed for ball retrieval or anything else. This is especially important if your neighbors have animals.

3. Explain figurative boundaries. Your child may be entirely on your own property but yelling his or her sweet head off. Although you may be able to tune this out entirely, your neighbor cannot. Kids shouldn’t need to skulk around whispering, but a basic understanding of other people’s needs will serve your child forever.

4. Don’t cover it up. Accidents will happen. Teach your child what to do when things go wrong. Talk through different scenarios: kids are playing ball and accidentally break a neighbor’s window. The instinct is to run, but that’s no solution. Help children decide how to find and ask for help when they’re scared and most tempted to make a bad situation worse.

5. Teach your children to look for opportunities to help and serve. Is a neighbor struggling to carry in a carload of groceries? A simple, “May I give you a hand?” could make a neighbor’s day and give your child the opportunity to experience the great feeling that comes from helping others.

6. Ask for feedback. Keep an open conversation with your neighbors. Most people won’t rat out your kid for being a pest, but if you check in and ask how things are going, your neighbor may feel freer to express an annoyance that’s easily corrected.

Learning to be a good neighbor while still young will help your child find his or her place in the world.


Via Waste Wise: If you’re looking for a way to make some extra cash while also helping the environment, you should consider recycling aluminum cans. Saving aluminum cans is easy to do, and a few cans here and there can really add up over time. In order to ensure you get paid for your recycling efforts, here are some things you should do before taking your aluminum to a recycling center.

Rinse and Drain Cans
Rinse each can out before placing it in a bag to be recycled. Cans with residue in them could attract insects, which is something you definitely do not want to do. Drain any extra water from your can by turning it upside down and letting it drip dry.

Crush to Save Space
You’ll probably want to wait until you have a full load before you take your cans in for recycling. When you crush your cans, you’ll be able to haul around twice as many in your vehicle, which means your efforts can pay off even more.

Use Caution when Picking
The good thing about aluminum can recycling is that you can easily find these cans lying beside the road or in trash cans. If you do decide to collect these cans, use caution so as not to cut yourself on exposed metal. Wear gloves when going through trash cans, and consider investing in a special tool to help you pick up cans from alongside the highway hands free.

Don’t use Cans for Other Purposes
You won’t be able to recycle your cans if you use them as ashtrays or place rocks or other debris in them. Avoid using aluminum cans for other purposes and you won’t have to pick through them at the recycling center in order to remove those that are unacceptable.


via seniorly: Senior activities don’t require seniors only. Fun with grandchildren and younger friends can be a great way to keep active, informed and engaged. Here are some suggestions for intergenerational activities to be shared between seniors and the young.

There is something about the way children light up a room that is magical. And nothing illustrates that energy better than witnessing a child interacting with an older adult. It often brings out the best in both of them. In fact, studies show that with intergenerational activities, seniors experience better self-esteem, increased communication and decision making skills. It can even help improve memory!

Children reap the benefits as well. They’ve shown improved test scores and academic achievement while being mentored by a senior friend or loved one. For some children, seniors fill the shoes of the grandparents they may not have. Many believe seniors can give children the kind of unconditional love and attention they need. They can accept a child without judgment. That is an emotional bond that is invaluable and so important for both groups in today’s world.

An Aging Generation
According to the U.S. Administration of Aging, by the year 2030, one in five Americans will be aged 65 or older.

While some worry about what that will mean for our nation in terms of health care and retirement costs, many sociologists and psychologists say there is an upside as well. “Having emotional enriching interactions between young people and the elderly can be especially positive for both, providing rich interactions and mutual learning from each other.

Connections Are Important
In a recent study from Kansas State University on children’s perceptions of older adults, findings indicated that without interaction with older adults, children may develop stereotypes and misconceptions about the older generation. In general, American children felt negative about older adults and aging.

The study also found, however, that with intergenerational programs, those perceptions changed over time.

Exposing children to seniors throughout their life, whether a relative or not, can do wonders for young and old alike. If you don’t have an older relative to spend time with, consider regular visits to a senior community near you. Your child will make important connections that will impact them throughout their life.

Activities to Enjoy Together
The best way to bridge the gap is to spend time together. Here are some simple ways children and older adults can enjoy each other’s company:

1. Arts and Crafts
Arts and crafts can bring out the kid in all of us. There is no better way to enjoy an indoor activity together than creating something you’ll both love. And it will provide a keepsake to remind you of your special day. For some great ideas on craft projects for kids and senior’s to do together, check out these boards on Pinterest.

2. Nature Walks
Enjoy some fresh air together! Go to a park or just walk around the neighborhood. Kids love looking at birds, trees and asking questions about their surroundings. The fresh air and exercise will be good for both of you too. You could even plan a scavenger hunt or just collect some leaves and bring them home to do a craft together.

3. Baking and Cooking
Who doesn’t enjoy the smell of fresh baked cookies? And children love being in the kitchen. Why not show them the secret to making those cookies extra delicious? It’s a great way to teach them measurements and math and even the littlest ones love to give the batter a stir. You’ll be making not only cookies, but also great memories together.

4. Puzzles and Games
Nothing is better for memory and cognitive development for the young and old than working on a puzzle or playing a board game. Introduce them to the classic board or card games you played as a kid. Or let them bring one of their own and teach you how to play.

5. Reading Together
There is nothing greater for a child’s education than learning the love of reading at a young age. Whether you read the newest children’s books together or the classics, you’ll be introducing them to the importance of reading and a whole world of adventure to share together. If they’re old enough, have them read to you.

6. Gardening
Do you have a green thumb? Gardening together is not only a great outdoor activity to share, but you’ll also be teaching the next generation about where our food comes from and the importance of ecosystems. Kids love digging in the dirt and using the watering can. They may even learn to love vegetables fresh out of the garden, which is an added bonus.

7. Tablet or Smartphone Play
Even if you’re a wiz with your smartphone or tablet, kids have a lot they can teach you about the latest applications. Why not play together and have them show you a few things as you go? Children get so much satisfaction and self-confidence teaching others a new skill. And learning new things is a great way to keep your mind sharp at any age.

8. Lunch Date
Who doesn’t like to have lunch out? Take them to a favorite restaurant and treat them to an ice cream sundae for dessert. If you live in a senior community, invite them over for a special lunch together. Most communities offer a wide variety of food on the menu and ice cream is often a staple.